kozak

The Final Flight of the Crimson Lobstrosity

2005-05-20T07:22:54Z

_____.: BETTER THINGS... :.____________________________

Not a bad idea... not a bad idea at all.

2005-04-28T05:55:10Z

_____.: ZOMBIES! :.____________________________

This just in: outbreak of zombism in Cambodia has led to the immediate quarantine of Quan'sul, on the Laotian border. For details see the BBC News | South Asia coverage:

A deployment plan is currently in the initial planning phase; team membership is on an open basis. All prospective team members should report to the parking lot of the Rte 37 WaWa at 2200h this Friday. *NOTE* Due to the co-scheduling of the Fri/Sat/Sun Night meetings of the "TR North Students with Pimped Out Cars from Mom & Dad" club, parking is limited; come early to be sure you get a space! Volunteers are required to bring a pair of boots, a signed statement of intent, and $500.

From the Far East, to the Lower East Side.

2005-03-22T05:58:37Z

_____.: THE PILLOWS :.____________________________

A block off of Bleecker Street, three European guys standing beneath a blue & white awning smoked their cigarettes. The awning said `Piano's`, and inside, past the bar and the open-mic room, some 50-odd people rocked out to the imported tunes of The Pillows. Two of those people were me and Cassie. [EDIT: Yes, this mean that Cassie and i saw The Pillows live in NYC on Sunday... plus the tickets were only $5. ]

Photo McShoppeyton

2005-01-28T02:29:42Z

_____.: BECKY-MOBILE :._________________________________________________________________

Becky needs to get a new car. And it needs to be a Porsche Boxster. And Craig needs to alter the logo like this:

w0rd.

You don't mess with Billy the Tiger.

2005-01-17T22:52:34Z

_____.: BILLY THE TIGER vs THE WORLD :._________________________________________________________________

   So let me break this down:

      DEC.2004 -- Billy the Tiger [ aka. my father ] gets an assortment of telephone bills from shady companies.

      DEC.2004 -- After some investigating, Billy the Tiger and i find out that the companies behind the charges are all shysters that run phone scams. Some are chat lines with 1.800.###.#### numbers that re-connect calls thru Chile. Others are third-party SMS providers whose text messages are considered `downloads` by my brother's CSP, VerizonWireless. Billy the Tiger doesn't play with fools; he pities 'em. The bills are not paid.

      JAN.2005 -- Late notices are received. Billy the Tiger files the paper notices and calls the companies but gets only voice-mailboxes for the various supervisors he asks to speak with.

      JAN.2005 -- A sleazy fraud investigator by the name of John Stern calls and gets all "stern" with me on the phone. When Billy the Tiger calls him back, Senor Stern tries to threaten BtT by throwing around phrases like "filing with the Attorney General" and "fraud". Billy the Tiger is unfazed and refuses to pay.

      TODAY -- Billy the Tiger gets a hold of the supervisors of the various companies and tightens the screws. He uses his big guns: the "i'll need your FCC Form 499A ID number" and the "filing a formal complaint" to beat his opponents into submission. All charges are quickly credited away into nonexistence.

      CONCLUSION -- Don't mess with Billy the Tiger... ever.

Breaking News!!!

2005-01-12T01:25:08Z

_____.: DRAGOSTEA DIN TEI :.________________________________________________________________________________

Hot out of Romania comes the Romanian-Moldovan boy-band O-Zone! Their hit song Dragostea din Tei has been the inspiration for at least two Flash movies that can be found HERE and HERE, the second being slightly more entertaining than the first. Anyone who would like the MP3 can find it HERE. And the lyrics are available in their ORIGINAL FORM, ENGLISH TRANSLATION, and PHOENETIC PRONUNCIATION. The song's title means "Love Under the Lime Tree" and it follows on the heels of their #1 hit: "You Didn't Answer my SMS".

EuroMusic update, complete.

Onto the Season's Greetings bandwagon!

2004-12-25T18:27:06Z

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
メりークルスマス!
FELIZ NAVIDAD!
JOYEUX NOËL!
FROEHLICHE WEIHNACHTEN!
* Just a quick `current music` note: Michael Crawford will pwnz0r anyone at O Holy Night; no one else should be allowed to sing it in public. Word.

Farewell and adieu, all ye fine Spanish ladies...

2004-12-17T18:51:14Z

</i>In the interest of not taking up anyone's Friends page...

_____.: RECORD OF LODOSS WAR :.________________________________________________________________________________

   So we all: just watched / just rewatched / are watching / are rewatching / are going to rewatch Record of Lodoss War in anticipation of our cosplay for Anime Boston [ April 29th - May 1st ]. The cast so far is Cassie as Deedlit, the elven fighter-chick; myself as Parn, the idealistic young knight; Craig as Ashram, the powerful dark knight; Becky as the Grey Witch Karla [ Leylia version ]; Bob as battle-hardened Ghim, the dwarven warrior; Kelly as Pirotess, the evil Dark Elf; and Joe as the wizard Slayn. Craig and i will be smithing our armor for Parn and Ashram, as well as various weapons, this winter break. We should have everything done by the end of January. Then we'll all make our costumes whilst at school. i've already crafted myself a small pouch in honor of the occasion:

Actually, i went to the bank shortly after watching Lodoss, and got a 25$ roll of golden dollar coins. Then i needed a pouch for them so i whipped one up... it was fairly easy. Also, my new icon is Parn and Deedlit from an artbook picture that's a really pretty snowy scene. Cassie painted me a HUGE rendition of it for last Christmas. i don't know how she's going to top herself, hehehe.

_____.: FINALS 2004, FALL EDITION :.________________________________________________________________________________

   First up this year was Japanese 1 final [ Nihongo no shiken ] at 8:30am on Tuesday. i think it went well, and i'm feeling an A for the semester. Next was was Probability/Statistics 1 at 2:30pm. The test was alright, and i foresee a B or an A-. Tuesday's third and final final [ that looks weird... perhaps i should've said last final, or better yet: ULTIMATE final ] was at 5:30pm for Introduction Computers and Their Applications, which i took to stay fulltime. My not getting an A will result in me cutting my own stomach open in shame. Wednesday i only had my Calc 3 final at noonish. Yeah, that's right, i'm at the end of Level 3 in Calculus. i've heard that the last level [ Calc 4 aka DiffEQ ] isn't too bad. i wonder who the Final Boss is? Maybe Newton or Liebniz... or both!

_____.: WINTER BREAK :.________________________________________________________________________________

   As with any large break from school, i shall be home and available for hangoutage as per the SPOCK [ Standard Pecking Order of Chilling with Kozak -- if you don't know where you are on the SPOCK, you're probably low... real low... j/k :c) ]. So feel free to contact me up:

WINTER BREAK `04 CONTACT INFO
home.phone            732.244.0308
e.mail                akozak@mail.com
ninja.gram   dude, someone better
                     send me a NinjaGram

_____.: OF NINJAS AND LOVE :.________________________________________________________________________________

   Ninjas* are awesome, and i heart them. Recently, however, NinjaLove, and hearting in general, had become a mainstream concept taken up by everyone from college freshmen to yuppie moms. i went underground with my own personal NinjaLove for a little while, but no more. Now i'm back in full effect; NinjaLove as well as RobotLove and PoodleLove. As my good friend C would say," kozak.heart( ninjas, robots, poodles ) ". Get your love on:


[ LARGE ]                                      [ LARGE ]                                      [ LARGE ]

     * i am aware that the plural of "ninja" is "ninja". Speaking of plurals...

_____.: PLURALS, PLURI, AND PLURAE :.________________________________________________________________________________

   No language is perfect, but certain aspects of each language that i am acquainted with tend to get under my skin. For French, it'd be those extra letters that are needed to make one simple sound that seem like they're just tossed in for fun [ deux, laissez faire, etc. ] and the five or six different kinds of accent marks; for Japanese, it's the fact that they have special counting suffixes for over 5,000 different situations [ counting people -nin, counting floors -kai, counting shrimp -pyaki, etc. ]; for English, today's gripe is: Pluralization. Walk with me... In English, the singular words cactus, fungus, platypus, and magus all have a similar -us ending. When pluralized, these words all have their -us dropped in favor of an -i. If cactus -> cacti, fungus -> fungi, platypus -> platypi, and magus -> magi, then my question is simply this: walri?

No, no walri... none. It's walruses. Doesn't make sense? That's because we quickly forget that the us -> i rule doesn't apply to tusk'ed sea creatures... just desert flora, spore-producing, saprophytic parasites, duck-billed mammals native to the Southern Hemisphere, and sorcerers... Don't even get me started about umbrellae.

Pibble-Jibble on French

2004-12-10T03:24:05Z

Instead of chronologically recapping the last six months, how about i just type off the top of my head until i've listed enough things to feel accomplished...

_____.: THE DARK TOWER :.________________________________________________________________________________

   Over the course of October and November, i read all seven books of Stephen King's The Dark Tower series, something Craig had been encouraging me to do for a long time. The books were very a very satisfying read. The story opens in the first book The Gunslinger with: The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed..." which, in my humble opinion, ranks high on the list of "Greatest Opening Lines in All of Literature". It goes on to tell the story of the gunslinger's pursuit of the man in black. The first three books [ The Gunslinger, The Drawing of the Three, The Waste Lands ] follow the gunslinger, Roland Deschain, on his journey in pursuit, initially, of the man in black and, ultimately, of the Dark Tower -- a single point on which the axes of countless universes turn. Along the way, Roland meets several characters from very different places. His past is kept mostly secret until the fourth book [ Wizard and Glass ] which is almost entirely the tale of Roland's childhood. The last three books [ Wolves of the Calla, Song of Susannah, The Dark Tower ] follow Roland and his friends to the end of their quest. And, while i don't want to give too much away, i will say that everyone should read the first book -- a short ~200 pager. Stephen King wrote it in the late 70's and it was published in 1982. The final book, The Dark Tower just came out two months ago and, with it, Stephen King announced his retirement from writing. This 7 book, 3200+ page series is the first and final work of one of the 20th century's most accomplished authors. And if that isn't enough to get you to pick it up... the ending is aweXsome!

_____.: WINDOWS EXPLORER :.________________________________________________________________________________

   So Windows Explorer just crashed and that was pretty bogus, but at least my Opera remains unscathed. Had i been browsing with Internet Explorer, i'd've been toast. Thanks to Bob for bringing me over to the Opera side -- though i still stand firmly in AIM-World giving only the occasional wave towards TrillianLand.

_____.: CASSIE :.________________________________________________________________________________

   This is the part where i talk all about how wonderful my girlfriend, Cassie, is. We work together at Panera, go to school together at SUNY New Paltz, watch great anime, hilarious pr0nime, goto cons, and all-in-all have a great time... AND we've now been together for a year and 3 weeks! Let's take a look at the Leader Board:

          CASSIE: ====================================================== 55wks ->
          GF__04: ==================================================_____ 50wks
          GF__03: ==___________________________________________________________________ 02wks
          GF__02: =======================________________________________________ 24wks
          GF__01: ==================================================_____ 50wks

After analyzing the above data, i arrived at an interesting conclusion. The amount of weeks [ W ] my relationships last can be determined by applying the following set of equations*:

        For the series W_n for all values of n, [ 0, ∞]:
n
W_n = 49 - 20(n-c) - Σ[ 12 / ((n-c)(n+1-c)) ] + ∞^{^}[ n( n^3 - 6n^2 + 11n - 6 )]</sup>
p=0

c = ( n/2 )( n^2 - 3n + 2 )

* There will be no comments concerning my ostensibly inexhaustible amount of free-time. However, BONUS POINTS will be awarded to anyone providing a complete proof for n[0,5].

_____.: SUGOI*CON :.________________________________________________________________________________

   At this year's SugoiCon, our group took First Place in the cosplay! We were Queen Serenity[ Cassie ], Princess Serenity[ Becky ], Prince Endymion[ Craig ], and myself as Jadeite. Here are some pics of us on A Fan's View. Cassie and Becky also wore their Jou and Meg from Bakuretsu Tenshi. The rides out and back both went very smoothly -- mostly thanks to the sweet Safari van that Cassie's mom and step-dad lent us. That thing was like a room that handled well at 80. Sadly, it may not be available for our next con due to some deer-related collisioning. It will be deer-ly missed. [ PUN COUNT: 001 ]

_____.: GLEN GRETSKY :.________________________________________________________________________________

   On a very happy note, Glen came back from Iraq this fall. He is safe and sound and in California at the moment, but he will be back out east for a short time around Christmas. Again, if anyone needs it, his s/n is A Frayed Knot33 on AIM.

_____.: SCHOOL :.________________________________________________________________________________

   After a touch-and-go battle for Student Account Supremacy, i have defeated both the Student Accounts and Financial Aid departments of SUNY New Paltz for the Fall semester. Now begins our Spring `05 battle. For anyone who's keeping score, my estimated time of graduation is May 2007. However, that's assuming i don't change schools again, keeping with my routine of one school per school year.

_____.: DODGEBALL :.________________________________________________________________________________

   Good friggin' movie! The best part being the character of "Dread Pirate Steve".

_____.: LONG LJ POSTS :.________________________________________________________________________________

   That's exactly what this is. So, until i think of something to add, i'mma consider this one to be done.
</font>

Your eyes tell the stories...

2004-07-01T00:39:35Z

For all you CRMS-ers out there, here's another Glen Gretsky update. Glen's still in Iraq with the USMC, but he says he should be home by September, and back in NJ by October, so that's great news! This past week, Glen saw his first combat. To summarize, he was in one of two helicopters flying 28 men [ 14 troops in each helicopter, plus 4 crew in each helicopter ] toward the Syrian border in the night when they encountered a trio of cars. They approached the vehicles to investigate and, as Glen's helicopter made its final landing approach, the enemy opened fire with AK-47's. Glen returned fire with a .50 caliber machine-gun. As the pilots of the two helicopters took evasive maneuvers, an RPG was fired. Luckily, both helicopters escaped, and Glen destroyed one of the enemy vehicles.

If anyone would like to contact him, Glen's military email address is:

GretskyGP@3MAWDM.usmc.mil

Here is a picture of Glen in Iraq: [link]. Please keep him in your thoughts.

The wiser choice:

2004-06-23T05:00:48Z

Those seemingly benign surveys you find in LJ's can be dangerous, even making brothers and sisters mad or sad. So, in lieu of posting my own personal survey like everyone else, i'm going dispense with the subtleties of carefully engineered replies to each question in order to imply an underlying message, and just come right out and say it:

Attention Everyone,

i love Cassie. i love her more than anyone has ever loved anything, ever.

Thank you,
Andrew Kozak

There must be something in the wine, cuz i think i love you...

2004-06-14T06:18:25Z

Kakusu - You were hurt very much as a child, and so
you know have trouble trusting....EVERYONE.
There is, however that one person who can melt
you completely...and God help the person who
hurts her, because you'd be unstoppable. You're
strong, with the largest of all hearts hidden
underneath your pained past.

Which Phantasmal Demons Character Are You? (From my manga)
brought to you by Quizilla

In short...

2004-04-20T18:19:25Z

Okay, Spring Break was like last week... or two weeks ago... or... oh hell, i don't know when is when eheh. This is a rushed update chock full of notes, points, and event reports in no chronological order so that i don't fall into a bottomless pit of LJ-absence (where i would promptly die of starvation). Hmm, that's a good segue:

Teen Girl Squad -- Cassie and i showed all that is the wonders of Cheerleader and her pals to Bex and Craiggles over Spring Break. TGS rules.

Anime -- Also over Spring Break, Cassie chipped away at the mighty stone that is my anime ignorance by showing me the Mahou Tsukai Tai OAV and the first two eps. of Saber Marionette J. i really want to see the rest of Saber, and Mahou Tsukai Tai was AWESOME! i want to make an AMV that opens with the falling brooms at the end!

AMV -- Speaking of AMV's, as soon as i get Adobe Premiere and a whole lot of free time, Cassie and i are gonna make a Princess Tutu AMV to Smashing Pumpkins' Disarm -- it's just BEGGING for it!

Cassies ... Cass-i? -- So i met Cassie ( Michigan Cassie ) and she's really cool. She was kinda sick though, which sucks... hope she's not allergic to the East Coast... anyhoo, Mike and MI Cassie invited me and Cassie ( <3Cassie<3 ) to join them at ACen in a week or two. We're totally going as long as <3Cassie<3 doesn't have any finals that Friday. Neither of us have been to Michigan... it should be jawesome hehe.

"Of Cons and Cosplay" -- Totally stoked about ACen and/or Anime NExt and/or Otakon cosplay! Screw it -- cosplay in general! On deck we've got Resident Evil, Mahou Tsukai Tai, Tuxedo Gin and MUCH MUCH MORE! :c)!!!! Gotta get some cash flow and get started!!!

Cash Flow -- So yeah, i did the whole "try to get that awesome job at Monmouth Park Racetrack" thing again this summer, with the same results it seems. The boss there said he'd call me if he needed me, and he hasn't called me... ergo... But, c'est la vie, i'm going to apply at Tronix this week or next. i think that'd be a pretty cool job :c).

Schools -- Still chillin at OCC, and, by "chillin", i do mean "looking for a way out"... i applied to SUNY New Paltz... they're giving me a hassle... *loads gun*

And in other side news...

Yeah it's gone... but i clearly have not lost my strength: Kozak != Samson.

PS -- My girlfriend r0xz0rz and you know you're jealous. Cassie is awesome. QED.

Those clouds look like a bear... i wonder if he's hungry...

2004-03-24T23:09:44Z

i am very proud of my famous girlfriend. :c)

And now, the rest of the story...

2004-03-16T01:06:25Z

As many of you might have guessed, that last post was a joke. i didn't break up with my girlfriend, and i most certainly am not seeing some girl named " Juli ". In reality, " Juli " is my girlfriend, Cassie, all " gothed out " as part of an inside joke we had. You can all think of this as being a test to see who's paying attention... gotta keep you guys on yer toes ;c).

Now, if putting up a joke-post about my fake g/f gets me so much attention... i wonder what a real one would do? Hmm...

This is Cassie, my real girlfriend. She's beautiful, smart, talented, has seen all the classic movies like Super Troopers and can quote from said movies at any given moment, can beat me at Soul Calibur II [ and probably you too! ], she totally pwnz0rs at video bowling, loves under-appreciated bands like They Might Be Giants, Aqua, Savage Garden, and Toy-Box, puts up with my long tangent-ful stories, makes the best sandwich known to man, and all-in-all makes my life wonderful. :c)</b></center>

ps. i got you ALL! A-ha-HA!

For public reference...

2004-03-12T20:30:47Z

i know my LJ is usually only geared towards the funnier side of my life, but i figured that since i don't get to talk to a lot of you as often as i'd like, that i should probably use it for important news too. That being said, many of you know that i was dating a girl from New York named Cassie. Well, we're over. The details aren't really important, but we're not together anymore. As far as dating goes, i guess you could say i'm "seeing" someone. [ No KozMack jokes about my quick turn-around times, please ] Her name is Juli and here's a pic in case you guys see me in the mall or something with "some chick" and wonder, 'Who's she?' That about wraps up the latest KozNews -- further bulletins as events warrant them.

Obligatory photoshopping of Becky... [ check ]

2004-03-12T19:31:27Z

...that is all.

GUITAWR!

2004-03-10T08:02:53Z

Okay, so everyone's up-in-arms about the proposed amendment banning same-sex-marriage... i say: "lame." In the words of the Tej: "i think any two adults should be able to get married, and the government has no business trying to define what love is." Right on, Chris.

That being said, what can we do? Well, first, anyone who's reading this has no excuse not to sign the petition at Million for Marriage's website [ link ]. If you want to go the full nine, a letter to your Congressman would be a big help. Hand-written letters are more effective than many people think. To quickly find out the name and address of your local Representative,

Step One: Goto http://www.house.gov/writerep/, select your state from the drop-down menu, and enter your ZIP code [ the additional four digits of your ZIP+4 code aren't necessary ]:::

Step Two: Click the Contact My Representative button, and you'll be taken to the next screen where your Representative's name will be displayed above a series of fields for your full name and mailing address:::

Step Three: If you want to take quicker, easier route, and just write an email, or, if you've already written a letter and you'd like to follow it up with an email, you can fill out these fields and you'll be taken to the next page, where you can enter your email message to be sent, otherwise...

Step Four: Now that you have your Representative's name, goto http://clerk.house.gov/members/index.php, select the first letter of his last name from the drop-down menu, and click the View button:::

Step Five: Scroll down the page to your Representative's name and click it to see his address:::

Step Six: Get a pen, a piece of paper, an envelope, and a stamp... and write a letter. It doesn't have to be long, and it doesn't have to be a masterpiece, just state your thoughts and your opinions so your voice can be heard. And just think, in the time it took to check out this little tutorial i put together, you could have been done -- so get to work.

the subject and the entry have remarried...___S<3E 4VR!!!

2004-03-03T07:48:06Z

This is a double update; two stories, and they both have to do with Brian O'Neill. So, Brian, if you're watching, this one's for you, man!

//===STORY 1===

Today, in Physics lecture, i was trying to tell Kyle Kelly a story i'd obviously already told him at least once. Somehow that story morphed into a completely new anecdote which i will now relate. Now, this conclusion comes before we left class, but only slightly after Kyle suggested that the best way to determine if i was, in fact, allergic to strawberries, was to go immediately home and to eat an entire pound and wait for a reaction. So, with that said:::

brinoceros ('brI-nah-ser-is) noun 1: the sound made when a rhinoceros breaks into a classroom through the chalkboard with Brian O'Neill on its back.

//===STORY 2===

Now, if that first one didn't get you... this one probably won't either so you should stop reading now and just take me off your Friends list because, baby, you and me weren't made to waltz together...

Okay, so last spring, at Stevens, Pat Nolan, neighbor to Brian O'Neill and me, developed a habit of stealing my webcam. While i was in class and he was talking to Brian in our room, Pat would snatch my cam and see how long it took for me to realize it was gone. A clever game... the first 3 times. After which it lost some of its... flavor. So i started telling Brian to tell Pat to watch out because i was "planning something". Pat's paranoia was amusing for about two weeks, but it died off. Then, one afternoon, while Pat was at Design Lab, an idea hit me. i consulted with Brian O'Neill and, within 10 minutes, Brian and i had removed every object that Pat owned from his room. We took the contents of his desktop, his lamps, his shaver & charger, his printer & paper, his books from their shelf, his clothes from his drawers and wardrobe, his shoes, his baseball bat, his sheets and pillows, and even his mattress ( which we hid, standing on its side, behind our door ). We took everything... everything. i must say, hearing Pat come back and open his door, and then scream, "What the ****!!!" at the top of his lungs was one of our finest moments at Stevens. Pat eventually found us out, and called in a favor with the Campus Police to have them come in and interrogate us. WINNER: Pat. [ Don't let anyone say i never know when i'm beaten, and this time it was pretty clear. ]

Always Coca-Cola...

2004-02-28T18:19:46Z

Three days ago, the cold and sandy paradise of Al-Asad, Iraq became home-away-from-home for Lance Corporal Glen Gretsky, USMC. For those of you who know Glen, he's currently a Crew Chief on board one of the USMC's CH-53E Super Stallion helicopters [ more info ], which is basically a heavy troop-transport. His job is to direct the two pilots while taking off, landing, performing winch lifts, etc. In Glen's words: " It's like I have a voice-activated pilot -- I tell them what to do, and they do it. " If anyone would like to send him something, you can reach him at this address:

L/Cpl Gretsky
USMC
HMH 466 Flight Line
UIC 41101
FPOAP 96426-1101

Every few days, Glen can get online for a few minutes from the Army base in Al-Asad. If you want to reach him online you can email him at kysgod@seanbaby.com, or IM him on AIM, his s/n is AFrayedKnot33. i know everyone has their own opinions about our presence in the Middle East, but i'm sure that those of us who know Glen will keep him in our thoughts regardless.

Hear ye, hear ye...

2004-02-11T04:06:47Z

NOTICE

Many of you may have encountered the new AIM 'virus' running rampant on the web. This 'virus' is technically a very cunningly installed piece of malware that mass-IMs news links to your buddies. To remove it, go here: [LINK] , download the program, and run it. The 'virus' will then be uninstalled completely.

Credit goes to Jim Papalia for finding the fix to this before i could. Good work Jim, you l33t h4x0r :c).

Good Idea, Bad Idea

2004-01-15T19:51:46Z

Two tips for living life to the fullest:::

never: wait in your room for a pizza.

always: trade when you're down.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS:::

2003-12-25T18:58:05Z

A few years back, Greg Teuscher and Chris Flanegan were joking around about Vietnam, when Greg brought up my father. Their conversation went something like this:::

Greg: You know, Kozak's dad was in Nam.
Chris: Yeah, I KNOW! Billy the Tiger? I shared a foxhole with him!

Ever since, my father has been jokingly referred to as " Billy the Tiger ", the battle-hardened, stoney-eyed, war-scarred commando.

This past summer i received an " invitation " from Melissa Brinamen for some sort of "party". The alleged "party" was luau-themed so, when i opened the envelope and found these spilled on my desk:::

...i was not very suspicious. It was not until i looked closer, beyond the seemingly innocent nature of the shiny confetti-like pieces, that i saw their TRUE meaning:::

CLEARLY this was a secret, coded message from the government. Still an "invitation", but not to a party, oh no... this... was an invitation... TO REVENGE!!!
----------------------------------------------------------
This summer, Billy the Tiger is back... And this time, it's personal. Kozak's dad is "Billy the Tiger" in:::

----------------------------------------------------------

Okay, obviously that's not my dad -- it's Solid Snake. And his name isn't even Billy; it's Paul. But here is a picture of my dad in Vietnam that i found on his friend's website:::

ppspenguin @ 2003-11-26T01:39:00

2003-11-26T06:44:10Z

For Kevin, with Love...

2003-08-21T18:53:47Z

conversation between Andrew Kozak [ ppspenguin ] and Kevin Craig [ tazzz21 ]
on 21.08.2003 from 14:46:28EST to 15:25:16EST
---------
PPSPenguin (14:46:28): guess what i'm listening to
Tazzz21 (14:46:38): Superdrag?
PPSPenguin (14:46:39): Futile by Velvet Acid Christ
Tazzz21 (14:46:44): What!?
PPSPenguin (14:46:46): ... i may update my journal just to mention that
Tazzz21 (14:46:53): What the hell is that?
PPSPenguin (14:46:58): they're techno/house
Tazzz21 (14:47:06): Im busy working on the largest journal update in history.
Tazzz21 (14:47:40): so far I got two days of events told and its over 2 pages in my word processor.
PPSPenguin (14:48:28): ... you do realize this means war
Tazzz21 (14:49:05): Lets do it, lets war!
PPSPenguin (14:49:23): ...am i allowed to make my post crash IE so that you can never finish reading it?
PPSPenguin (14:50:06): instead of warring... why don't we hang out?
Tazzz21 (14:50:20): I want you to crash IE first.
PPSPenguin (14:50:45): deal
PPSPenguin (14:57:54): check my journal
PPSPenguin (14:57:58): see if crashes your IE
Tazzz21 (14:58:06): ok...brb.
Tazzz21 (14:58:52): Nope.
Tazzz21 (14:59:01): It just made a entry box.
PPSPenguin (14:59:53): attempt #2
Tazzz21 (14:59:59): lol
Tazzz21 (15:00:04): tell me when its ready.
PPSPenguin (15:00:16): try again
Tazzz21 (15:00:40): hehehe, nope.
PPSPenguin (15:01:29): BAH
Tazzz21 (15:01:42): Do you give up??
PPSPenguin (15:01:53): never
PPSPenguin (15:06:14): found a script
PPSPenguin (15:06:16): http://therisenrealm.toptechdesign.com/x_crash_ie.php
Tazzz21 (15:13:12): That didnt crash me either.
Tazzz21 (15:14:19): I AM the UNCRASHABLE. I'm running Titanic Explorer. Only a script with the power and force of an iceberg can destroy me. WA HA HA.
PPSPenguin (15:18:48): try it now ass
PPSPenguin (15:18:50): :cP
Tazzz21 signed off at 15:20:22.
Tazzz21 signed on at 15:21:51.
Tazzz21 (15:22:01): Congratulations. My IE is rubble.
PPSPenguin (15:22:12): ...seriously?
Tazzz21 (15:22:57): Yeah, the window stayed up and wouldnt close, so I tried to go to another site with no luck and I couldnt even IM you anymore. But I never once got an error message...thats was sweet.
PPSPenguin (15:23:10): did you see the pic?
Tazzz21 (15:23:13): Nope.
PPSPenguin (15:23:29): okay seriously look at my journal
Tazzz21 (15:24:12): HAHAHAHAHAA.
PPSPenguin (15:24:22): that's all i had there
PPSPenguin (15:24:24): i swear
PPSPenguin (15:24:26): there was no code
PPSPenguin (15:24:28): just the pic
PPSPenguin (15:24:32): ... the iceberg sank you
Tazzz21 (15:24:33): sure man.
PPSPenguin (15:24:39): on my honor
PPSPenguin (15:24:45): i tried the form code and it didn't work
PPSPenguin (15:24:57): then when you said only an iceberg could sink you i found one
PPSPenguin (15:25:01): and uploaded it
Tazzz21 (15:25:06): LOL, thats great.
PPSPenguin (15:25:16): LOL
---------
So basically i tried a bunch of times to crash Kevin's IE, failed each time, and put a picture of an iceberg on my journal... which promptly crashed his IE.